WE'RE HERE TO HELP

If you are far enough along, you may go to the hospital to start the induction process or wait for your baby to naturally go into labor. 

As you wait, we understand you may have so many questions and are feeling so many different emotions. We encourage you to ask questions, reach out for support, and find ways to remember your baby. It is very common for you to wonder, “What will my baby look like?” If you would like, you can visit this site to get a better idea of what to expect. They have written descriptions as well as pictures for you to look at. Please be aware, the pictures are real pictures of families who have generously shared their experience and baby for others to feel better prepared. www.stillbirthday.com: click on the “See Our Babies” tab.

If you originally had a birth plan, you can still follow that as closely as possible. A bereavement doula will more than likely be available for you and will be able to help you follow your birth plan as desired. We understand you have been faced with unexpected circumstances, but your birth can still be beautiful and memorable.

The No Foot Too Small Birthing + Bereavement Suite at MercyOne Genesis Medical Center is designed to serve and comfort families experiencing miscarriage, stillbirth, fetal and infant loss. This is a private and comfortable suite where babies will be welcomed into the world and loved, and where families can say goodbye.

We are so very sorry for the loss of your baby. We are here to support you through this time. Below you will find some information to help you know what to expect as you prepare for your surgical procedure called dilation and evacuation. Please know we are here to answer any of your questions along the way.

You will need to have dilators placed in your cervix the day prior to your procedure. These will be placed by your physician either in the office or in the hospital. You can take 800mg of ibuprofen every 6 hours and/or 1000mg of Tylenol every 6 hours for any cramping you might experience after placement. Please contact your physician with any severe pain, heavy bleeding, or concerns that you may be going into labor.

 When you come to the hospital for your surgery, you can choose to:

• have your baby and the tissue from your pregnancy tested to see if there was a chromosomal cause of the pregnancy loss
• have the hospital take care of your baby and pregnancy tissue
• bury your baby at home
• have your baby buried at a funeral home
• have your baby cremated by a funeral home

It is also possible to obtain handprints and footprints for you to keep if you would like. Please let your physician know if this is something you desire.

If testing is being performed to determine if there was a chromosomal problem with the pregnancy, sometimes it is possible to determine the gender of your baby.

The No Foot Too Small Birthing + Bereavement Suite at MercyOne Genesis Medical Center is designed to serve and comfort families experiencing miscarriage, stillbirth, fetal and infant loss. This is a private and comfortable suite where babies will be welcomed into the world and loved, and where families can say goodbye.

We are so very sorry that you are experiencing an ectopic pregnancy, a pregnancy that has implanted outside of the uterus. We are here to support you through this time. Below you will find some information to help you know what to expect. Please know we are here to answer any of your questions along the way.

You are going to have surgery to remove the ectopic pregnancy, which may or may not also require the removal of a fallopian tube. 

After the surgery, you can choose to:

• have the hospital take care of your baby and pregnancy tissue
• bury your baby at home
• have your baby buried at a funeral home
• have your baby cremated by a funeral home

We are so very sorry for your loss and everything that you are feeling right now. We understand that all of this can be very overwhelming and hard to understand. We want to make sure you feel as supported as possible and have all of the necessary options and resources available. Below you will find some information to help you know what to expect. Please know we are here to answer any of your questions along the way. 

Early pregnancy loss, the loss of a pregnancy during the first 13 weeks of gestation, is unfortunately common, occurring in 10-20% of known pregnancies. Most of these losses are caused by a random event in which the embryo received an abnormal number of chromosomes. In this case, development will not occur normally, sometimes resulting in the loss of the baby. These chromosome abnormalities are most often isolated events and not at risk for recurrence. In most situations, there is nothing you did to cause the miscarriage. Pregnancy loss in the first trimester is usually a one-time event. Most women go on to have successful pregnancies. Repeated pregnancy losses are rare. Testing and evaluation can be done to try to find a cause if you have several pregnancy losses. Even if no cause is found, most couples will go on to have successful pregnancies.

Your physician or midwife has provided you with information about how you can proceed after you have learned of your loss. Depending on your gestational age, your health, and other considerations and discussions with your healthcare provider, you may have the options of expectant management, medical management, or having a dilation and curettage.

Whether you would like to deliver at home (expectantly or by taking a medication), or if you have a dilation and curettage at the office or at the hospital, you can decide what you would like to do with your baby and pregnancy tissue. 

You can choose to:

• have your baby and the tissue from your pregnancy tested to see if there was a chromosomal cause of the pregnancy loss
• have the hospital take care of your baby and pregnancy tissue 
• bury your baby at home
• have your baby buried at a funeral home
• have your baby cremated by a funeral home

If you would like to deliver at home, we will provide you with the necessary supplies in order to help you through the process. Will give you a container in which you can “catch” your baby in.

If testing is being performed to determine if there was a chromosomal problem with the pregnancy, sometimes it is possible to determine the gender of your baby. 

As you recover, you can expect bleeding that is like a heavy period for a week or two. You can expect your period to return within 4-6 weeks. You should contact your healthcare provider if you experience any fevers, heavy bleeding (soaking more than a pad an hour for more than 2 hours in a row), severe pain, depression, or anything else that concerns you. When you are ready, you and your provider can discuss when you will be able to try to conceive again. You may also discuss contraceptive options. Please know, we are here for you every step of the way. You may reach out to us at the office at any time, or you may seek support from any of the following resources listed below.

Depending on your gestational age, you may experience lactation. Your milk supply will decrease and stop around days 3-5, and wearing a supportive bra, using ice packs, and taking over-the-counter pain medications will help with the discomfort. You may also decide to pump your breast milk and donate it. There are local ways to donate milk:

Davenport Depot Contact
Heidi Baudhuin, RD, LD
Milk Donor Coordinator
Mother’s Milk Bank of Iowa
University of Iowa Health Care
(319) 384-9930 heidi-baudhuin@uiowa.edu or baudhuin@healthcare.uiowa.edu

Website: www.uichildrens.org/mothers-milk-bank

BEREAVED BREAST MILK DONATION PROGRAM

As you wait, we understand you may have so many questions and are feeling so many different emotions. We encourage you to ask questions, reach out for support, and find ways to remember your baby. It is very common for you to wonder, “What will my baby look like?”. If you would like, you can visit this site to get a better idea of what to expect. They have written descriptions as well as pictures for you to look at. Please be aware, the pictures are real pictures of families who have generously shared their experience and baby for others to feel better prepared. Visit StillBirthday click on the “See Our Babies” tab.

If you originally had a birth plan, you can still follow that as closely as possible. A bereavement doula will more than likely be available for you and will be able to help you follow your birth plan as desired. We understand you have been faced with unexpected circumstances, but your birth can still be beautiful and memorable.

Ideas For Honoring And Remembering Your Baby

• Name your baby
• Write a letter to your baby
• Buy a special blanket or stuffed animal that can remind you of your baby. You can also choose to have baby buried or cremated with an item. Consider getting two of the same items so that baby can have one and you can have the other.
• Depending on your baby’s size, you may bring an outfit to have your baby dressed in.
• If it’s something you feel comfortable with, invite family and friends to come visit once baby is here. It’s O.K to ask others to spend time with you and baby. 
• Hand/foot prints, clipping of hair, molds of hands/feet, dressing baby, bathing baby, and getting professional pictures of baby are all possibilities once you deliver at the hospital. 

If you have any questions about these options, please ask. In most cases, a bereavement doula will be present once you are at the hospital. If not, all of the nursing staff are aware of these options and can help with all of this. 

Once you are ready, you can make the decision to have an autopsy and/or the proper testing done on your baby in an attempt to find a cause for your loss.

We want you to know that the time with your baby is not rushed. We encourage you to spend as much time with your baby as you would like. When the time does come that you are ready to say “farewell” to your baby, we understand that this can be the hardest part. During this process, you have a few options to make this a little easier. You may have the funeral home director come directly to the birth center for you to personally hand baby to him or her. In most cases, you can even ride with baby to the funeral home if desired. You may also have the option of bringing baby home with you for a short amount of time. If these last two options are something you are interested in, please make sure to let your provider, nurse, and bereavement doula know once you arrive at the birth center.

You may have the hospital dispose of your baby or have your baby released to go home with you (20 weeks and under), have your baby buried at a cemetery, or have your baby cremated. If you want to have your baby cremated or buried in a cemetery, the following are just a few funeral homes who have experience in pregnancy and infant loss.

• Weerts, Davenport (563-355-4433)
• Runge, Davenport (536-391-6202)
• McGinnis-Chambers, Bettendorf (563-355-1751)
• Schultz, Dewitt (563-659-5241)
• Wheelan-Pressly, Rock Island (309-786-5421)
• Trimble Funeral Home & Crematory, Moline (309-764-1144)
• Halligan-McCabe-DeVries, Davenport (563-322-4438)

Resources

It is normal for you and your partner to experience grief over this loss. We are here to support you. There are multiple resources and support options available to you.

Quad Cities Bereavement Doulas: 
A group of Doulas who are specifically trained in loss. They can walk you through all of your options and if at any point you feel like you want their support or have any questions for them, you may contact Jess Buntemeyer, the group’s coordinator. All services are free of charge. You can find the group on Facebook under Quad Cities Bereavement Doulas. 
Jess Buntemeyer - 563.370.5037

Quad City SHARE Group: 
A local pregnancy and infant loss support group. The group meets the 3^rd Thursday of every month at 6:30pm at the Genesis Heart Institute, Davenport, IA. The group is also on Facebook under Quad City Share Group. 

Walk with you:
This local organization supports families through their loss in a variety of ways. “Whether you are anticipating the loss of your child, have experienced the new loss of your child, or are years out from the loss of your child, we are here to connect you to the support you need.” 

The Women's Choice Center:
The Women’s Choice Center is a local organization that offers bereavement services, support, and perinatal hospice program for families expecting a baby with a life-limiting condition. They also offer miscarriage care bereavement services for women who are experiencing or have recently experienced pregnancy loss

No Foot Too Small:
NFTS was founded out of a desire to draw awareness to pregnancy loss + infant mortality while encouraging the celebration of these precious blessings. There are several in-person and virtual support group options for both mothers and fathers.
nofoottoosmall.org or search “No Foot Too Small” and “No Foot Too Small Moms” on Facebook

StillBirthDay:
StillBirthDay is an organization recognizing that a pregnancy loss is still a birthday. This website has many resources to help you through this loss – before birth, during birth, and after birth. During this time, it is very common for you to wonder, “What will my baby look like?”. This website also has written descriptions as well as pictures for you to help be better prepared on what to expect. Please be aware, the pictures are real pictures from families who have generously shared their experience and baby for others to feel better prepared. Click on the “See Our Babies” tab.

Glow in the Woods:
For parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: we want to be a glow through the trees. Babylost mothers and fathers, this place is yours.

Return to Zero Hope:
RTZ Hope provides compassionate and holistic support for people who have experienced unimaginable loss during their journey to parenthood. We are here with valuable resources and inclusive support for anyone whose life has been touched by loss, including infertility, secondary infertility, miscarriage, ending a wanted pregnancy, stillbirth, infant or toddler death, loss through surrogacy, and failed adoption.

Project Robby:
It is our mission through Project Robby to give parents who have lost a baby something special to hold onto when they are no longer able to hold their baby. It is our goal to supply grieving families with a bereavement set (hat/blanket/angel wing) that is the appropriate size for their angel baby.
No matter what gestation your baby existed, your baby matters.

A Bed for My Heart:
A place to rest your grieving heart and let its truth spill outside the covers. 

National Alliance for Children's Grief:
If you are supporting a child who is grieving, we are here to connect you to resources and local support. The alliance is a national organization of professionals dedicated to supporting children and the networks and communities surrounding them.

Still Standing Magazine:
Still Standing is an online magazine for all who are grieving child loss and infertility. 

Grief Watch/Perinatal Loss:
Resources and support for pregnancy loss.

IRIS:
A non-profit organization that is dedicated to offering support, education, and resources to parents, families, friends, and professionals on the death of a child in early pregnancy (miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, etc.) or from stillbirth, premature birth, neonatal death, birth defects, sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), illness, accidents, and all other types of infant & early childhood death.

Missing GRACE:
The missing GRACE Organization offers pregnancy and infant loss support as well as support for those struggling with infertility and those who are pursuing adoption. Additionally, we strive to educate mothers about their role in stillbirth prevention in their own pregnancies.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep:
The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation (NILMDTS) administers a network of more than 7,000 volunteer photographers in the United States and 25 countries. At a family's request, a NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer will come to your hospital or hospice location and conduct a sensitive and private portrait session. The portraits are then professionally retouched and presented to the families on an archival DVD or CD that can be used to print portraits of their cherished baby. We believe these images serve as an important step in the family's healing process by honoring their child's legacy. 

Books

• At a Loss: Finding Your Way After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death. By Donna Rothert
• Bearing Hope: Navigating the Desert of Waiting for a Child. By Liv Ryan
• Empty Cradle Broken Heart. By Deborah L. Davi
• Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death. By Sherokee Ilse
• Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination. By Elizabeth McCracken
• Grief One Day at a Time. By Alan Wolfelt
• Healing Your Grieving Heart. By Alan Wolfelt
• Healing Your Grieving Heart for Kids. By Alan Wolfelt
• Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby: The 5 Love Languages for Grieving Parents. By Gary Chapman, Candy McVicar
• Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow. By Teske Drake
• Ida, Always. By Caron Levis, Charles Santoso
• Navigating the Unknown: An Immediate Guide When Experiencing the Loss of Your Baby. By Amie Lands 
• Still: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Motherhood. By Emma Hansen
• Stillborn and Still Loved: Honoring the Life of Your Baby and Healing Through Journaling. By RH Wilder
• Stillborn Still Loved. By Hailey Ricks
• The Miscarriage Map Workbook: An Honest Guide to Navigating Pregnancy Loss, Working Through the pain, and Moving Forward. By Sunita Osborn
• The Other Side of Yet: Finding Light in the Midst of Darkness. By Michelle D. Hord
• The Rabbit Listened. By Cori Doerrfeld
• Three Minus One: Stories of Parents' Love and Loss Paperback. By Sean Hanish, Brooke Warner
• Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss. By Rachel Lewis
• When Skies Are Gray: A Grieving Mother's Lullaby. By Lindsey M. Henke

Ideas for honoring and remembering your baby:

• Name your baby.
• Write a letter to your baby.
• Buy a special blanket or stuffed animal that can remind you of your baby.
• If it’s something you feel comfortable with, talk about your baby and your loss; do not feel ashamed to bring up what you have been through.

If you want to have your baby cremated or buried in a cemetery, the following are just a few funeral homes with experience in pregnancy and infant loss.

Weerts, Davenport (563-355-4433)

Runge, Davenport (536-391-6202)

McGinnis-Chambers, Bettendorf (563-355-1751)

Schultz, Dewitt (563-659-5241)

Wheelan-Pressly, Rock Island (309-786-5421)

Trimble Funeral Home & Crematory, Moline (309-764-1144)

Halligan-McCabe-DeVries, Davenport (563-322-4438)

We are deeply sorry for the loss you are experiencing. We are here to support you throughout this journey.